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Monday, February 19, 2007

life is one big complication.

I don't blame anyone for what's going on at the moment. Despite what you guys think, i take full responsibility for putting myself in the position i am in.

Sam, I know you're affected by it and thats why i had to talk to you. I did and i honestly thought everything would be okay after that. i told you that nothing was going on with us at the moment and that if anything would ever happen in the future, it'll be with your consent, blessing and when it doesn't affect you at all. You said that me being friends with her isn't a problem, so it shouldn't affect you right? I swear i had you at the back of my mind the whole time. I felt bad for not telling you that i was going to meet her because i didn't want you to get affected. Obviously what i did was wrong. You have to understand that i do need her in my life as she was there for me and i found comfort in her company. I know i should have kept my feelings for her inside, and i honestly didn't mean to fall for her and 'betray' you, but i did and feelings are somthing i'm unable to control. I'm sorry for that. You may think i've been a really bad and bastard friend, probably not in the right mind, but if I was, wouldn't i have made a move on her when i found out about my feelings? Knowing that you're going to hurt badly. If you must know, when i told her how i felt, i told her to forget what i had said because i knew that things between us were bound to be complicated, as i had a friendship with you to keep. I still consider you a good friend and hence, I can't in anyway bastard you. I'm not going to. So i hope you can rest easier now knowing this. I'm not willing to lose our friendship, even if it means me giving up and moving on.

Mal, I know that things between up has heated to quite a point. I want to let you know that coming back in my life has really prompted me to think if things could be like it was before. I wouldn't say i'm totally over you but i don't think things could ever be the way they were before. I miss those times but i'm not ready to relieve the past few months. I didn't mean to call you a bitch and honeslty, i don't think you're one. I just didn't understand and expressing myself in that way helped. Thanks for finally opening up to me and i'm sorry it had to be under such aggresive circumstances. At least now i understand. Thanks because i think i honestly treasure my friends more now, even though you don't think so and my actions don't really show it. I didn't mean to fall for your bestfriend and hurt you. If i knew the feelings you had earlier, i would have prevented them from being hurt. I seriously thought you didn't care. I guess what we need now is time apart from each other. I do hope that once this is over and after some time, we could be friends again. You probably hate me to a point that agreeing with my hope seems ridiculous. I'm sincerely sorry for whatever pain i've caused you and i know you're strong enough to get through this. I do wish things between us could have been under different circumstances and decisions. But i guess its too late. I'm sorry. I hope we can start a new in the future, keep the happy memories and throw the unhappy ones. If thats possible, i'd do anything to make it happen. For now, just take care of yourself and i wish you all the best for your future!

posted by the man himself! ; 5:05:00 PM (1) comments

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Why can't I be like Michael Schofield and have the solutions to all my problems.

posted by the man himself! ; 11:56:00 PM (2) comments

Thursday, October 26, 2006

It's been hell of a long time since i last blog and lots have happened and many things have changed. Its funny how life does this to you. One minute, everything is going smoothly and the world just seems perfect. The next minute, everything just comes crashing down bit by bit, until the world seems like a barren, empty desert which i'm lost in. People who meant so much to me have now moved on to another planet altogether and staring their new lives there, while i seem to still be stuck onto the broken one. I do know that moving on to a new world is the best thing to do but the hope of reliving the old perfect one overwhelmes me. Tresuring the people in your life and not taking them for granted is of the upmost importance. Its only when they're gone and you're demoted to a tiny spec of a universe of their memory that you realise it.

I doubt anyone really reads this blog but i just felt like blogging. I managed to remember my username and password.

I'm leaving for jakarta in a few hours! I am excited, but nothing compared to how i used to feel before any previous holiday. At least there, i'll be able to spend time with my family and hopefully do some shopping. Haha. and its not like i have that much cash to spend anyway.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who have stood by my side and is helping me find my footing! I really appreciate it.

I guess i've became a braver person cause i've been through the scariest thing ever!

posted by the man himself! ; 12:05:00 PM (0) comments

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Yesterday went to melville's at around 2. I was raining cats and dogs at my place but when i reached the pinkish condo the weather was rather clear, wonderful for soccer. Just as we got our game on the way, it started to drizzle. Lucky it was just a passing by cloud so the rain was on and off.

The game was so intense that i forgot to check my phone. Mal was at melville but she didn't know where the soccer court is. I had 16 missed calls. She went back home and after trying to call for about an hour plus she finally picked up. I rushed over, bought her a pen with all the money i had left. Asked for a piece of paper and wrote a note on it. I would have bought roses if i had the cash.
Anyway, we reconciled and went back to melville's to swim.

After swimming, we went to block 85 for dinner. Dinner was lovely. Bar chor mee and carrot cake never tasted better. Stayed over at mal's. Here I am now blogging while she is still sleeping on the comforts of her bed. Going to town later i think.

Tips for guys: Never neglect your girlfriend when playing soccer or it will screw up your game.

posted by the man himself! ; 3:00:00 PM (0) comments

On monday, went to changi for a party at leroy's chalet. Watched v for vendetta before that with shinks, sam and pete. The show was rather interesting. Played soccer at the basketball court at changi village before heading back to the chalet where dhiban cooked pasta. After dinner and showering, we played some drinking games. Everyone got a little high!

We walked to the jetty where we saw puffer fishes swimming by the shore. Shinks and I went down to catch some. I caught one and shinks caught two. Never knew what happened to them afterwards. Some chilling out sessions before mal, tanya and I headed back.

posted by the man himself! ; 2:54:00 PM (0) comments

Sunday, March 05, 2006

I'm at mal's place slacking around waiting for her to wake up. Planning to go down to town later.

On friday, I went to work for only 2 hours. Actually less than that due to me being extremly stupid. I fell asleep in the train and when i got up i was at buena vista. I think thats how you spell it. Anyway, went across and took a train back to tiong bahru. Reached work half an hour later. At 12 I left the office as I had a dental appointment. After having my teethe and gums checked, had lunch with my mum. I woke mal up to ask her to check her posting results. I rushed from city hall all the way to tp to be there for morale support. Fucked work. So i didn't get my pay for the week. Why do they have to decrease the cut off points of all the courses in poly this year. It is so unfair. Back to mal's where sam,shep, myself and mal herself slacked and watch american idol. It was my palce before heading to pasir ris park for peter's bbq. The party was above average i guess. VJC fellas are all fucking gay. They were huddling, cuddling and crying. Haha. it was quite funny making fun of it actually. There was hardly and food at the bbq cause the vjcians ate all the food. Talked cock and played soccer before heading back to peter's place.

Cabbed back to mal's where shinks and I stayed over. Woke up and shin kwan was gone. So typical of him dissapearing in the morning for a soccer match. I miss staying over your place shinks though you just shifted house. I expect an invitation for your house warming party! Went home to play mahjong with my poh2 and epoh. I lost 9 dollars. Not too bad as it was my first time playing with them.

Anyway, I'm in the midst of planning a budget trip before school reopens. Need to escape from my stressful lifestyle. Working at ITW can be so hard at times. Haha.

posted by the man himself! ; 12:34:00 PM (0) comments

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Happy 18th Birthday Sheppy!
It's been a while since we really hanged out and yesterday was great. Hopefully, there'll be more to come.

Woke up to mal's beautiful face. I think i was disturbing her sleep so she got grumpy. Haha. Went back home to change for soccer at toa payoh. After soccer, cabbed back to mal's to freshen up for town. Took a long bus ride from mal's place to suntec with babe, birthday boy, glenn, jill, vic and shinks. It was my first time eating at Carl's Junior and i have to say that the food was great. I was fucking full after that though. I can still feel the chilli cheese fries in my tmmy now. Anyway, we walked to marina square after dinner. Went bowling and played pool. Tim and Anand joined in the celebration too.

Cabbed back with shep, vic and babe. Stayed over at my second home reminiscing about the good old days and sharing a few gossips. It's nice catching up with someone you haven't met for a long time. On sunday I attented a wedding and met a childhood friend whom i've not met in a few years. Slept at around 6.

Shep said something that was damn funny yesterday. I can't remember what mal, shep and I were talking about but shep was like ' Not like I was born yesterday right?!' And then after a moment of silence, he said 'Oh ya! I was born yesterday.' Haha. Jokes.

posted by the man himself! ; 9:59:00 AM (1) comments

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Now for the main event! The cruise!

I enjoyed myself so much on the cruise that i wish it never ended. I missed being so free and having so much fun. Thanks babe, aaron, jude, tanya and sam for making it a successful trip. But i guess most of the credit will have to go to the planning team. Right mal? Right jude? Haha.

The first day we met at harbour front at around 12 plus where my family sent me off. All of us were filled with excitement and anticipation. before i go further, i have to tell all about a hilarious incident. Jude, sam and I were joking about having our mens and not being able to swim. Both jude and I said we were having our mens. Sam, on the other hand, said he did not know and with his fingers, felt between his legs and said ' wait! I check ah!' haha. Okay i find that fucking funny. Walked up to superstar virgo. Checked in to our rooms. After settling in, we went for our buffet lunch to fill our empty stomachs. We then went exploring around the ship. Swam and then sun-taned. After dinner, we went to watch a movie. Mal went to sleep while the 5 of us had supper and talked about life. Made hell lots of noise then fell asleep.

Day 2. After all of us woke up we headed to breakfast where we had a heavy breakfast. Actually, all our meal were heavy! Went swimming. We arrived at penang at around 1 plus. We went down to penang to do some shopping and to visit the town. We cabbed down to the shopping mall to shop. Didn't do much of it. After about an hour, we headed to a coffee shop where i had the best char kway teow in my entire life. we took mad photos before going back on board the ship. Went swimming in the jacuzzi. They were having a bbq dinner. So we ate while in the jacuzzi. There was a life band playing too. That was really THE LIFE man! Pure bliss. After that we went to watch a comedy show by this transverstite. He talked about the a to z on sex. It was rather entertaining. Supper before sleeping. And making hell lots of noise before sleeping too.

The morning of day 3 was a funny one. I woke up to go to the toilet when i heard aaron talking in his sleep about scracthing his balls and about it being damn shiok. haha. I woke tanya up, she woke jude up, aaron woke up by himself, aaron woke sam up and sam woke mal up. Haha. What a chain. The boys went to see the sunrise before sleeping again. We woke up just in time for phuket. We took a boat to the beach town. Upon arriving, many tuktuk drivers surrounded us shouting 'phuket tow! phuket tow!' It was fucking funny. I think the thai language is damn cool. I learned the words ' sarwadika and kapunkar'. I couldn't stop using them. haha. Phuket is a shopping paradise! Bought like one million stuff. The shop owners are all bastards who are out to cheat tourists of their money. For example, I helped tanya bargain for a puma bag. The owner siad it costs 1200 baht. I said i'd only pay 500 baht. She kept lowering the price until she reached 600 baht. I walked off. She called me back and said 500 baht will do just fine. What the fuck right? haha. Had lunch before shopping some more. Took a tuktuk back to the dock and boarded the ship. We swam for a bit before getting ready for the gala-dinner. We had dinner at some chinese place. The food was reasonably good. After that, we boys played soccer on the cruise. We played in a basketball court that was fully netted so the ball could not fly out. After soccer, swam followed by supper. Made even more noise then the first two nights, then slept.

We woke up late on day 4. We have no idea what time it is as there is no sunlight entering our cabin to tell you what time of the day it is. Lunch before swimming in the kid's pool where jude and I were back in our school days mood. We were rebels! haha. poor lifeguard. Packed our bags and s'pore it was. Not before having our last buffet meal of the trip.

More trips to come soon i hope! First penang and phuket, next malaysia, then europe, then THE WORLD!

posted by the man himself! ; 11:18:00 AM (2) comments

Haven't been blogging for about a week now and lots happened. I'll start with the 10th of feb. I met aaron at tm in the late morning to buy valentine's day gifts for our respective babes. Went to meet babe, tanya and vic outside their school to wish them all the best for their collection of results. For being such gentlemen, we were late for our own collection. We missed the entire speech. Fortunately i ran into the hall at the right moment to find my name on the projector screen. Felt damn relieved. Mom came for morale support. Cabbed home with her and mano as i had to get ready for my v'day date with princess mal. Made sure all the bookings and arrangements were finalised before heading to her place to pick her up. Cabbed down to the central with victoria and charmaine. The driver drove up to mount faber. Mal thought we were going to eat on the top of the hill. I surprised her as i had booked a dinner for two on a cable car. Woohoo! Got you there baby. I thought you already had an idea of where i was going to bring you. Dinner was great! Good food, lovely scenery, romantic ambience and dining with a gorgeous lady. What could be better? It was worth every penny. I hope you really enjoyed it baby! When dinner was over, we had a romantic stroll down mount faber. Cabbed down to town to meet leroy, who was going for the singapore idol audition. He was mad drinking and getting wasted. haha. After that, cabbed home for some well-deserved rest.

posted by the man himself! ; 11:00:00 AM (0) comments